Her Last Secret
by MoonDriver
Summary: It will not be easy to forget... About that one secret Justine Courtney managed to keep from Miles Edgeworth. Spoilers for AAI2.


_**A.N.** I'm using the English names from the fan translation of AAI2._

_**To those who haven't played AAI2 yet: SPOILER WARNING! You shouldn't even be here anyway: go play this incredible game in English NOW:)**_

_Hakari Mikagami = Justine Courtney_  
_Marî Miwa = Patricia Roland_  
_Shimon Aizawa = John Marsh_  
_Yumihiko Ichiyanagi = Sebastian Debeste_  
_Bansai Ichiyanagi = Blaise Debeste_  
_Sôta Sarushiro= Simon Keyes_  
_Ami Aizawa = Amy Marsh_

_**Disclaimer:** the cover image isn't mine. Source: F Yeah AAI2 on tumblr_

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When she arrived, Justine found John lounging on the sofa with a book and was so glad he was finally home that she actually let all thoughts of Patricia Roland recede to the back of her head. She had been so wrapped up in both the aftermath of the last few cases and the trial she was currently presiding over that she had momentarily forgotten today was the day he was scheduled to come back from his last filming.

She cooked for the two of them, a luxury she didn't often have, and made small talk with him over dinner, nonchalantly gleaning information. While she admired John's dedication, Justine couldn't help but worry about his tendency to practice until late at night. What if this habit of his ended up keeping him from getting enough rest? A child of his age needed his sleep…

She remembered him getting permission from her to do extra hours two days in a row and, despite his protests, sent him to bed earlier than usual so that he would be in good shape for school on the next day.

She took his place on the sofa and picked up the book he had been reading – it was a book on acting techniques… She frowned. With only thirteen years old, John was in his own way as much of a workaholic that his adoptive mother was.

Justine had always done her best to give him all the love he would need and had even made a reckless attempt – may the Goddess forgive her – at getting him the love of his estranged father. And John loved her back, with all his heart. But even so, she feared that his attitude toward work might mirror her own, having as much to do with addiction than passion. Work, she had found, could help fill certain voids in a person's life, the absence of a deceased parent perhaps…? Or that of a _lover_…

For the rest of the evening, she tried in vain to chase the images that flashed unbidden before her eyes and went to bed without having got any work done.

She felt exhausted, but once she lay in her empty bed, she couldn't go to sleep. Even safely tucked away in a prison cell, Patricia Roland just wouldn't leave Justine Courtney alone.

Justine had seen too much of her in the last few days and it affected her in ways she would never bring herself to voice aloud. It had been like a nightmare come true, learning the truth about a woman she had thought she knew, discovering that the one she used to think of as her beloved was nothing more than a despicable criminal. A killer. A child abuser. And an accomplice to the murder of her son's father.

_And I let her near John_, she thought. It was almost enough to make her weep. _She would hug him, and she would smile, and she would kiss me and she would call me darling, and I wouldn't suspect a thing. Simon Keyes was right. I am a terrible mother._

No doubt, Justine had made the right choice in breaking up with her, but she had done it for all the wrong reasons, for the sake of her own selfish desires and not to protect John. That could not make up for the things she had felt, for the things she still felt when she thought of the dimples at the corner of Patricia's lips when she smiled, or the silly way that fox of hers had sometimes licked at Justine's cheek when she came too close or tried to climb on her own shoulders. Its fur was soft and warm, just like Patricia's embrace when she was wrapped in that huge gaudy coat of hers…

During the whole time she had spent investigating at the prison, Justine had tried to keep her distance from her. She had shied away from any overly affectionate hugs and kisses, declined repeated offers to pet the white fox and, despite her insisting that she call her Patty, unwaveringly stuck to Ms. Warden. But she hadn't foreseen finding herself alone with Patricia.

When Justine had asked to consult the inmates' personal files on the first day, both she and Sebastian had been invited in the warden's office. However, the young prosecutor had been more interested in hanging around with the forensic team and, for the sake of efficiency, Justine hadn't passed up on the opportunity to have him out of the way for a while. It had turned out to be a miscalculation on her part. Finding the files she needed had been easy enough, but things had become a lot more complicated once she had sat on the visitor's chair at the desk in order to peruse the documents.

Patricia had never gone to take her seat opposite her. After hanging her fur coat on a hook by the door, she had come to stand by the French window that led onto her private garden, breaking the silence every now and then with a cheerful comment about life at the prison and the benefits of animal therapy. Then, she had simply gone out of Justine's field of vision and somehow reappeared right behind her.

"May I be of help, Justine-darling?" had come her voice from somewhere near Justine's left ear and she hadn't dared turn around lest she find her way too close for comfort. One of Patricia's hands had come to rest on the table before her and Justine could tell she was probably leaning over her. Her own fingers had been trembling slightly as she had breathed in the other woman's perfume. If Justine had moved as much as a few inches backward, their bodies would have touched, and she would have felt her breasts pressed against her back, and Patricia would have slid her arms around her waist and deftly sneaked a kiss past the collar of her cloak like she had always liked to do before…

And how Justine had suddenly yearned to. To give in and let Patricia do as she pleased. She had had the distinct feeling that the warden knew exactly what manner of thoughts were running through her mind at the time.

It was that moment Sebastian had chosen to barge in unannounced and although Justine had kindly reminded him he should always knock first, she couldn't have been happier to see him. The Goddess only knew what would have happened had she been left alone longer with Patricia… but her imagination had worked on several scenarios, each one more shameful than the next. The mere sensation of the other woman's warm breath in her ear had been enough to send a shiver of anticipation course through her, reawakening memories of how things would invariably end once Patricia started using that particular tone with her. It had been all too easy to remember. The taste of her mouth and the slide of smooth skin against hers, the way she would rain kisses down her spine as she inched the zipper of her dress down…

Patricia had never concealed how much she loved seeing Justine with her hair down and she would often unbraid it herself, ruining in mere moments the result of an early-morning hour of careful styling. Justine's half-hearted protests that such a break of dress code was unbefitting of a servant of the Goddess of law had been invariably met with a mocking smirk.

"The only Goddess I know is standing right before me without any clothes on and is in no position to argue…"

In those moments, it hadn't been rare for Justine to actually feel like some kind of deity, being able to rouse so much love and desire in a person. Justine fancied herself a good lover as well, attentive and eager to please, but there was a passion in the other woman that she had felt she could never hope to emulate. Something about Patricia swept her off her feet and left her hardly able to do more than lust and love and hunger for more.

There had been those times, in particular, times when she had really taken her time and mapped every sensitive area of her body, every spot that would cause her to gasp or sigh in delight. It hadn't been until Justine had actually pleaded with her, her breath coming out heavy and her cheeks flushed with arousal that she had relented and finally turned her attentions to the wetness between her legs, granting her release so sweet it had almost hurt…

The fantasies had plagued Justine's mind in every moment she hadn't spent thinking about the case, until she had gone home to her empty house and her lonely bedroom, where no one would be able to see her or hear her moan as she pleasured herself to thoughts of a murderer.

Justine had known nothing at the time. It was two days later that she had learnt firsthand about the first crime on Patricia's long list, and from then on it had only gone downhill…

The growing awareness, however, had done nothing to keep her hand from wandering between her thighs at night. Her heart might have been full of sorrow and confusion, but her body still knew exactly what it wanted, and the knowledge of her own depravation only served to make her cry bitter tears of shame afterwards.

She had taken on Patricia Roland's trial the following week. While she had been perfectly aware that it would make the ache even worse, she had been determined not to let her personal feelings get in the way. Surely, the impartial judge would be able to atone for the sins of the flawed woman and mother that she was. That was what Justine had believed at the time anyway… before she had also failed to uphold her ideals as a guardian of law in court.

John, whom she had always considered the light of her life, the source of her strength, had become her sole weakness and that weakness had been exploited mercilessly by Blaise Debeste and Simon Keyes… by people the likes of Patricia Roland.

In the end, it had been Miles Edgeworth and Kay Faraday who had saved the day, rescued her son and cleared the false murder charges against both her and John. Prosecutor Edgeworth had never once reproached her with her mistakes and, for the first time ever, Justine Courtney had been willing to consider that, yes, emotions may after all have their place in a courtroom.

_But, Prosecutor Edgeworth, where would you put the limit between humanity and blind folly? _

Justine's horror when Simon Keyes had accused her of endangering John's life through her imprudent behavior had been all the stronger since she had just learnt that her former lover had conspired with Blaise and the President's body double to assassinate the boy's father.

_Did I really unknowingly deliver Amy's son – my son – into that woman's clutches?_

There was no way for Justine to know for sure. The body double might have never revealed the truth behind President Huang's visit to the orphanage to Patricia and Blaise, frightened as he was to be exposed as a fraud if John's existence were brought out into the open. And even if Patricia did know, there was no certitude that she had ever made the connection between her former employee Amy Marsh and John Marsh, the adoptive son of her new lady friend. While Justine had told Patricia that John was actually the biological son of her deceased cousin, she couldn't remember whether or not she had already mentioned Amy's name in her presence.

It had been less than a week since that bombshell had been dropped on her and John and the too many questions that were left unanswered still made Justine's head hurt. The child had kept tactfully quiet about her past romantic involvement in front of the other investigators and she supposed she ought to thank him for being so mindful of her privacy and feelings. However, she still hadn't mustered the courage to bring up the subject with him. She would have to eventually, even if she was terribly afraid to learn about his opinion of her now… Hopefully, John would be able to forgive her for having been so criminally blind… so stupidly infatuated.

Today, a part of her still wished it were possible to forget all about this hateful side to Patricia and keep only the memories of the woman she thought she knew and had cherished, that warm, sensitive, generous person who seemed to have enough love to give the whole world.

_You should let go of your past to find your own path and move forward in life… _Another part of her insisted, whose words sounded familiarly comforting. After all, wasn't this the answer Prosecutor Edgeworth had struggled for, and the core of the lesson he had successfully imparted to Sebastian?

_"I don't have to be perfect, I just want to grow little by little. Both as a judge and as a mother."_

Justine had already found her own answer. As long as her son remained by her side, she knew that one day she would find the strength to let go of Patricia Roland.

Not tonight, though… Tonight like every night, Justine Courtney would simply roll on her side and squeeze her eyes shut as she imagined lying in the arms of that one person she could never manage to hate.

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_Reviews are love! :)_


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